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14th March 2006
Life goes on but I'm gone . . .
i love you
Without You Lyrics
Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows.
Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom,
The children play. The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you.
The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you.
Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves.
Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash.
The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.
The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you.
The world revives,
But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue
Without you. Without you the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats.
Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walks, the lungs breath.
The mind churns!
The mind churns!
The heart yearns!
The heart yearns!
The tears dry, without you.
Life goes on, but I'm gone.
'Cause I die, without you.
8th March 2006
2 more nights
Until you come back. We miss you dear. I am watching Ring Two right now but I should go to bed. I dont want to because I dont want to go to work. This weekend I want to take my ring to a jewler to get it fixed. We can call Tammy or mom to find out about that guy in clintonville. I forget how this movie ends . . . :
Talk to you tomorrow
Visit our pregnancy journal
7th March 2006
Without him I feel his arms around me And when I lose my way I close my eyes And he has found me
I am lonely with out you. I could go and visit people but I dont want to. I thought of you at 11:11 last night. I may sound sad on the phone, that is because I am so over whelmed by love for you and missing you that I am reminded of that when i talk to you, hear your voice. I am able to be numb when I am not constantly reminded. I was sad when ZI left work that I wasnt coming home to you. :
And now I'm all alone again
Nowhere to go no one to turn to,
Did not want your money sir
I came out here coz i was told to
And now the night is near
Now I can make believe he's here.
Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and then I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head.
On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone, I walk with him till morning
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me
In the rain the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me for ever and forever
And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say, there's a way for us
I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone, the river's just a river
Without him the world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers
I love him
But every day I'm learning
All my life I've only been pretending
Without me his world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known!
I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own
5th March 2006
Missing you already
I love you, I hope you get to read this soon. I hope your trip was ok. I hope you miss me too. I miss you. I love you :
9th January 2006
Pretty in pink .45 Magnum
My Boy got Resident Evil 4 for christmas and in that game there is a sweet .45 revolver called a broken butterfly, I love it. I want one, In pink. He also got his very special very expensive present this weekend. A 3040 peice Lego set of a 30 some inch Star Wars Star Destroyer. Sweet! I got some movies, like Brothers Grimm, Van Helsing, Uptown Girls, Hide and seek. I also got (finally) The Sims for the PS2. I beat it in like 24 hours. It only took so long b/c a) shawn wanted to play Res Eve, and b) b/c even I have to sleep. :
Anyways, props to You for your angel costume, I dont think I have a nicky for you yet on LJ so you know who you are. I had a blast at the show, but the meeting rubbed me the wrong way in a few places, whatever.
I am sore right now, ugh, too tired and its only monday. I am going to miss hedwig on sat, but oh well.
OH I have found on ebay the greatest David Bowie Jareth wig, yeah! I cant wait to dress up for that show!!!
28th November 2005
No Day But Today
I can't control my destiny . . . :
I skipped work today because I am so sick. i have a Dr appointment at 2:45 I think . . . I set my alarm so when it goes off I will leave. It turns out the electricity went out at work anyway, last I heard they were getting ready to shut down anyways.
Last night Brash came over, last time I will see him before he deploys. I didn't cry until after he left.
BTW I am trying out the LJ paid account because I wanted to share pictures online. I have some from Rocky Halloween which I emailed to the webmaster for rocky, I dont think he has posted them. I will post them here in a bit.
Rent was fantastic, although I had a few issues with the timeline, and a few of my fav songs were ommitted. But other than that brava!
I hate being sick, and this must be one hell of a cold because I dont get sick that often.
I take a nap now.
24th November 2005
Happy Thanksgiving, yes I said Thanksgiving not "turkey day". :
i first started LJ wednesday b4 Thanksgiving 2002.
I just want to say that I love my boy, that i love my moms cooking, and i cant wait to see rent, its like waiting for the bathroom, agony. I have to go to "his parents" apt next. Why do I hate them, and her cooking?
Need more liquor.
16th November 2005
We placed a compliance chip in the back of your neck during the company physical
"That's it mister I am disgruntled, and up until now I was relatively gruntled." :
No matter what they say, I let them slide. I let them use me and take advantage of me. I can't handle being alone in the classroom that long. Even if I am in ratio. I am one of the only two teachers that are left alone for that long in a classroom. 5 children 18ms-2.5yrs. I find it extrordinarily hard to change diapers b/c I cant see the whole classroom from the changing table and forget taking the kids to the bathroom. Also I have to have the room spotless at close. Ha, thats 20-30 minutes of cleaning up a diaster by myself with 3 or so kids still in the room. I do more re-cleaning things I have already picked up. Plus I have to do my dishes, move my kids to preschool, do the days laundry, and sanitize the whole room. I just need help but I dont feel I can ask again. I have asked soo many times I am afraid they will feel like I cant control my room, maybe I cant, but I never had this problem before in any room I have worked. 2 hours alone is just too long . . .
15th November 2005
Sorry that isnt a very creative title, but that is how I feel about everything anyone has to say to me. Whatever. people cant let me vent without commenting on what I say so I will restate the rules of my LJ. :
"please dont comment if: you cant be nice, if your opinion is blatently adverse to mine, here's a good rule of thumb If it would piss you off if I were to do it then dont post. Remember, though I am trying to better myself, I am still a tempest in a teapot, an untamed shrew, fiercely independant, and even been called closed-minded. I dont agree with that last one, I think I am just strong in my convictions, I will listen to yours, but I most likely wont agree.
So just remember I dont use real names in my journal, and please dont ask me to identify ppl I write about, It will prolly be mostly about my boy, hedwig, and rocky anyway. And about half the comments are memes anyway."
"sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold on to."
13th November 2005
"he" tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
Everyone tried to test me last night. I can't not be a bitch when I am surronded by people that are bitching. Just set me up for failure. :
But other than that, and the low numbers, it was a fun show. There are some ppl though that are making me paranoid. Whatever. I get to play Phyllis and Hedwig schmidt next show. Maybe there will be more people.
I am thinking about going to showtunes tonight. I will have to call crazy wig boy and see if he is going. I may take some flyers too.
10th November 2005
On day I'll fly away, Leave all this to yesterday
Not that work was any worse today that before. I am just miserable, I am miserable everywhere, at home, at work, at Hedwig. Why don't you just quit? Well because, I love the kids, I love the show, I love shadow casting and I keep hoping things will get better. Will they get better? I am trying soo hard at work to get along with those people and they just dig at me.
9th November 2005
"It takes two to lie . . .one to lie and one to listen"
Keep that quote in mind when you read the diaries of LJ liars. :
The world as told by Homer, he does make so valid points abot real life. I just got done with a falculty meeting. I really don't like my job even though I prolly should, it should be a great place to work, however I really don't get along with the people their, far more than I the ppl from Hedwig. Imagine that I dont get along with ppl. I suppose it must be me, but I never had this problem at Goddard. I just hated my boss at Goddard the rest of the staff got along with me, the found my cynicism and social commentary funny. Perhaps I expected too much from this place. Maybe I should take a desk job for a while. I dont know what I need to do, all I know is things have to get better, I just might not be able to take it anymore. . .
This is totally based souly based on my curent mood
i have mood swings to often to make it accurate :
8th November 2005
"I DON'T HAVE AN INSIDE VOICE"
Ahh . . . back to using Simpson quotes as a title to my journal. :
I think it describes me well. I have been making awesome stuff for Preshow! I cant wait to unleash it on all the world. I hope I have some gnostics to do things to.
So i just drank an eintire bottle3 of chep champagne and talked to young Wig boy for almost 3 hours. I am in a state. Maybe you should ask me what was going on these past months instead of passing judgement. I was irrational with reason, not excuse. . . . . I'm drunk, and cant see the right keys to type but, I am okay, i hashed things out with younge wig boy. I am glad there is still someone I can trust enough to be an adult that I can talk to without worrying about what I say being spread around. I say alot that maybe I dont mean the way it comes out, but I say it as not to be false, so every knows how I feel, and I dont have to pretend. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but not like in the way everyone thinks, more as in you never have to worry about the way I feel. I want more alcohol, but I work tomorrow. I dont want to work tomorrow, i have a stupid presentation to due at the faculty meeting about sign language. Am I babbling? maybe, but i am a little plastered. Plastered? did I spell that right? I dont know, but I need to sleep now. Night Night.
7th November 2005
Wow, its back to this then
Back involved with Rocky, so Its back to the live journalling. Fun, fun. I just dont want to be out of the loop. Ever wake up and the weight of the world was gone, and you realize you are not resposible anymore? No matter what occurs. I still consider myself to be a mega-bitch. But maybe not so often. "sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold on to." Here is some tips to my journal . . . please dont comment if: you cant be nice, if your opinion is blatently adverse to mine, here's a good rule of thumb If it would piss you off if I were to do it then dont post. Remember, though I am trying to better myself, I am still a tempest in a teapot, an untamed shrew, fiercely independant, and even been called closed-minded. I dont agree with that last one, I think I am just strong in my convictions, I will listen to yours, but I most likely wont agree. :
So just remember I dont use real names in my journal, and please dont ask me to identify ppl I write about, It will prolly be mostly about my boy, hedwig, and rocky anyway. And about half the comments are memes anyway.
Love you LJ and love you My Boy
3rd October 2004
"These Darn Communists are up to thier old tricks again"
: This is a test
It shows they way of thinking of as they put it CONS: Conservative (Archconservative) LIBL: Liberal (Leftwing Wacko) LBRT: Libertarian (Antigovernment Libertine) COMM: Communist (Commie Sympathizer). Well I cannot tell if it's fair because I am bias, but the Libertarians and Conservatives sound right to me.
Your beauty is all your own! You don't like to be
the same as everyone else and find that being
unique makes you more attractive. The normal
trends just don't fit you and things are just
more fun when they're upside down. You love to
be the one that turns heads with individuality
and spunkiness. You're kind of beauty, I would
say, could be characterized by your confidence.
Though it's not a physical trait, it
deffinately shows on you. Rock on!(If you can't
see tje pics, go to my homepage and look near
the bottom and find your result)
Your eye color is dark blue. You rely on your logic
solely, and may have more mature interests than
many of your friends and family your age. You
can sometimes also be interverted and lonely
from a lack of understanding with people, and
can be rather frustrated with some types of
folke. Some may describe you as cold and
distant, and you are honest with how you feel
You are the color red. You are the most
controversial of all the colors. You are often
easily angered, but as easily as you got
excited, you come down. When angered, do you
have the tendency to be malicious? Afterwards,
do you end up begging for forgiveness? Maybe.
But you're incredibly generous, and, odd
enough, needy. You love to hate, and
sometimes, you hate to love. This color
describes you as generally edgy. When in a bad
situation, you're pessimistic, and when you're
in a good situation, you're extremely
optimistic. You're painfully tempermental, and
sometimes it hurts the ones you love. But with
an exciting and stimulating attitude, you enjoy
talking to people and being social. But aside
from your bold and outgoing attitude, you're
attention-needing and attention-getting. This
color is associated with lust and desire--and
you are both lust and desirous. You're a
protective person when it comes to the people
you love. You're incredibly sharp-witted and
powerful (not to mention intelligent!).
You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.
You have Blue Wings! You are artistic and highly
creative. Others are amazed by your imaginative
ideas, and the way you speak so smoothly. You
are very social, but you like talking
face-to-face, instead of the phone. You love
dancing, Writing, acting, drawing, singing,
anything that requires artistic style. You have
many friends, and are popular because of your
unique style. Though your jokes crack up
everyone around you, you often daydream about
many different things, lost in your own world.
Even though, you are optimistic, and remain
friendly and loved by others in reality, you
always like to visit your fantasy world for
some peace from the hectic world.
You're Marilyn Monroe!
What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
4th September 2004
-You have two cows.
-Your neighbor has none.
-You feel guilty for being successful.
-Instead of giving your neighbor one of your cows, you write to your congressman, demanding that he pass legislation for more government programs to help your neighbor get a cow.
-You hold a concert to raise awareness of cow-lessness.
-Barbara Streisand sings for the cow-less, who couldn't attend because ticket prices are so expensive that only people with 3 or 4 cows can afford to attend.
-You wear a ribbon that signifies that you care about cowless people, even though you really haven't done anything to help them at all.
-You have two cows.
-Your neighbor has none.
14th June 2004
|How to make a devi_angel|
5 parts intelligence
5 parts brilliance
3 parts instinct
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Serve with a slice of lovability and a pinch of salt. Yum!
Meme for my name ... :
1. Take your LJ username and replace each letter with the corresponding number (A=1, B=2, etc...).
4 5 22 9 1 14 7 5 12
2. Add all of the numbers together to create a kind of super number.
3. Make a note of the first digit of this number, then add the digits of the number together.
First digit = 7 Digits added together = 16
4. Find the post of this last number in your LJ.
Post #16 December 22nd 2002
"Why Christmas trees are better than men"
5. Take the digit you noted in step 3, and count that many words into the post.
seventh word = Men
6. Use the resulting word in a Google Image Search, and select a picture from the first page.
7. Post the results.
23rd May 2004
To much junk in the trunk, Eh?
I wanna go swimming. Park Club hasn't opened the pool yet. Stinky Pete's. So we are going to trek on over to the "in-laws" (shawn's parent's) to swim. I hate going over there. I just hate having to go that far to swim when I have a pool right down the street. Maybe I will just hop on a Nun . . .
22nd May 2004
Long hours in front of puter
Well I got the flyers done. My Shawn and I are going to maake mini ones to put in the bags at Marconi. The big full color ones are in the hands of Bob and Co. And they look pretty damn good, if I am allowed to praise myself. I spent longer hours in Photoshop adjusting an image to make it look just right. I made Hedwigs cape say "Yankee go to Hedwig with me." :
Then I found that game (see bob's entry). So I played it and died . . .then I talked to bob for a while while i surfed the net and dozed off in front of the puter. . . . Thats were Shawn found me.
Now he's making me food, Cheesey Ravioli.
he he he
Just felt like blogging my meaningless evening.